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Difficult conversations

Saying no to extra work without damaging the relationship

By Review.LivePublished 3 min readHow we write

The owner's representative calls at 16:45 on a Friday: "While your painters are here, can they do the staff room too? Same colour. It's small — just take care of it." The staff room is not on your finish schedule, the painters are already behind, and the last small favour on this job never became a change order.

An empty institutional room stripped for renovation, with plastic over the windows, patched walls and old chalkboards.
Photo: Colin OBrien on Unsplash

Requests like this arrive casually because they feel small to the person asking. Saying yes on the spot creates unpriced work, a precedent and often an argument at closeout about who agreed to what; a flat no damages the relationship instead. The way through is to say yes to the person and no to free work: offer a priced option and let them choose.

  1. Don't agree or refuse on the spot. Thank them and promise a price and the schedule effect.
  2. Check the scope: drawings, specifications and your contract's changes clause. If the work is included, say so and do it.
  3. Give the reason in contract terms. "That's outside our scope, so it needs a change" is a fact; "my boss won't let me" invites them to go over your head.
  4. Offer options: a priced change, a later date, a simpler alternative, or separate work after handover.
  5. Give a date for the price, and meet it.
  6. Confirm the request in writing the same day: what was asked, by whom, and that it waits for approval in the form your contract requires. See confirming verbal instructions.

On the phone

  1. Client:It's one room. Just have them do it while they're here.
  2. You:I know it looks small. I don't think the staff room is in our scope, and if it isn't, it needs a change before we touch it.
  3. Client:So you're saying no?
  4. You:I'm saying yes, with a price. You'll have the number and what it does to the schedule by Tuesday noon, and then it's your call.
  5. You:I'll send you a short note tonight so we both have the request in writing.

Common mistakes

  • Doing it "just this once" and finding at closeout that nobody remembers the favour.
  • Answering "we'll see", which the client hears as yes.
  • Starting before the approval your contract requires.

What to say

What to say next time

  1. You:"Let me check whether that's in our scope."
  2. You:"That's outside our contract, so it needs a change."
  3. You:"I'm not saying no — I'm saying it has a price."
  4. You:"You'll have the price by Tuesday noon."
  5. You:"I'll send a note tonight so we both have it in writing."

Check your understanding

The client says another builder would have painted the room for free. How do you answer without arguing?

Show the answer
Acknowledge that it matters to them, then restate the facts calmly: the work is outside the scope, it takes the painters' time, and it will be priced fairly. Offer the options again. The aim is a choice the client makes with a price in front of them, not a debate about someone else.

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