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Difficult conversations

Keeping a heated site meeting productive

By Review.LivePublished 3 min readHow we write

Twenty minutes into the Tuesday meeting in the site trailer, the mechanical subcontractor's project manager says the drywall crew "wrecked" two days of his ductwork. The drywall foreman stands up. Eight people are watching you, and none of the three decisions on the agenda has been touched.

People around a conference table in a meeting, one man standing and another resting his head on his hand.
Photo: Memento Media on Unsplash

A meeting turns into a fight when it has no rules, no place for side issues and no clear finish, so the loudest grievance takes over. As chair, your job is to protect the decisions without pretending the anger is not there.

  1. Set the rules at the start of every meeting: one speaker at a time, facts not blame, phones down, disagree about work, not people.
  2. Name the heat early: "This matters, and we won't solve it by shouting." Call a five-minute break if needed.
  3. Use a parking lot: write the side issue where everyone can see it, with an owner and a time, then move on.
  4. Bring it back to the decision: "What do we need to decide today about level 3?"
  5. Take the personal part outside the meeting, with the people involved.
  6. Close by reading back each decision, owner and date, and send the minutes within a day — see minutes that create accountability.

Words for the chair

  1. You:One person at a time. Marc, finish your point, then we'll hear from the drywall side.
  2. Mechanical PM:Somebody is paying for that duct.
  3. You:Fair question, and it won't get lost. It goes on the parking lot: you, me and the drywall foreman, on level 3 at eleven.
  4. You:Right now we need one decision: who is in the level 3 ceiling next week.
  5. You:Before anyone leaves: three decisions, three owners, three dates.

Common mistakes

  • Arguing back as chair, which makes you a party to the fight.
  • Letting one grievance use up the whole agenda.
  • Ending without reading back the decisions.
  • Recording blame in the minutes instead of actions.

Action list

For your next tense meeting

  1. Read the ground rules out at the start
  2. Keep a parking lot everyone can see
  3. Give each parked issue an owner and a time
  4. Ask "what do we need to decide?" when it drifts
  5. Read back decisions, owners and dates
  6. Send the minutes within a day

Check your understanding

Why park the damage complaint instead of settling it in the meeting?

Show the answer
Eight people cannot inspect ductwork from a trailer, and the three who need to can do it in half an hour on site. Parking it with an owner and a time tells the person complaining that it will be dealt with, which is often what they needed to hear, and the room gets back to its decisions.

Sources

  1. Violence and Harassment in the Workplace - Dealing with Negative InteractionsCanadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety (CCOHS) · accessed

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